Work in Progress

I've been thinking a lot lately - thoughts about my relationships, thoughts about school commitments, thoughts about the state of the world...and somehow all of those thoughts seem to intertwine around my future. I hate thinking about my future. I want to be the kind of free-spirited person that takes life as it comes and, in some respects, I can be that carefree person. But there always that fear that gnaws deep inside. Feels of inadequacy and frustration about my future often overshadow the excitement and appreciation that I should experience now.

The other night at my bible study, we read a verse from 2 Timothy that went sometime along the lines of: "God did not give us a spirit of timidity...". In that moment, I realized that I have been living in fear. Thoughts of my prayers for the past several months filled my head - the prayers in which I confessed that I was scared of the future, the burden that had been weighing me down. Finally it was coming together. This is what it means to be paralyzed by sin. The lack of faith in my life was, almost embarrassingly, evident. The fear that plagued me was a result of my desire to carry my future in my own hands, not to trust that God will be my provider.

Looking back at the stages of my life, it seems this is a repeat pattern. The truth is that God has also given me what I need, if not more. I know that he will continue to do so. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure how to get to the point of having a faith that overcomes fear. I do know that faith in a work in progress though. And as I'm struggling to this point, I feel a sense of confidence that God has me where He wants me and intends to use me.

Something Good

Brooklyn Bridge, Winter 2008

Cinque Terre, Italy, Summer 2007

Paris, France, Summer 2007

Washington Square Park, New York City, Summer 2006

Continental Divide, Colorado, Summer 2008

These are pictures I have taken over the last few years - they remind me of the goodness of life.