Happily Ever After

We expect happiness. Think of all the times you've heard people answer that they measure their success by the extent that they are happy. Think of all the songs that you listen to that are about a soul searching for happiness. Mankind is in a constant pursuit of happiness because we think we are entitled to be happy. We expect happiness.

Not to be the person who sees the glass as half empty, but I think our neediness to be happy is a little skewed. Actually, I think it's a little selfish. I think that I'm learning that life isn't about being happy; that our successes shouldn't be built on the foundation of how happy we are with life. I think that we have a higher calling in life than to pursue our own happiness. I think that we were created to live a life beyond ourself. We were made to become better people, not happier people. I think somehow this comes full circle; that becoming a better person will make us a happier person in some respect. However, I think its the process of becoming a better person that deters us because its not about finding happiness. Its not about what we expect life should be.

Becoming better means sometimes taking the narrow road, something that can be uncomfortable and scary because you don't know exactly where it will lead. It means taking risks and becoming vulnerable. It's about hurting, being broken. Through this though, we become better people; as we become better, hopefully we encourage other people to do the same. And it's then that we really start to live life - when our life becomes not about us but about others.

I'm still trying to figure out how to do this because, like so many others, sometimes its just easier to settle for complacency. Sometimes its just easier to live in my comfortable apartment, to get in the same routine everyday, to never look beyond what my eyes can see in front of me. Sometimes its easier to believe in a happily ever after. But I know that's not what I want from life. It's not what I expect.

Coming Soon

Finally, we have something to show! Ok, so maybe its not much but check it out anyway: www.shopnadirah.com. In a few weeks, when you click on this link, it will be the actual website instead of just the filler page that is up now. I feel like this has been a long process but things are starting to come together. Sample shirts are on their way, paperwork is being filled out, the website is being created, the designs are being transformed to digital artwork. With traveling this summer and starting law school, this has become one of those projects that I will get to when I get to. And I'm finally getting to it!

For those of you wondering what I'm so excited about, a childhood friend and I started a little business designing t-shirts. It's more or less just a creative outlet for us, that hopefully will be profitable to some extent. The name "Nadirah" is an Arabic name meaning rare, precious or one of a kind. We want our work to reflect this name, but, more importantly, we want it to represent our individuality.

Check back in a few weeks because Nadirah will be launching soon!

Full of Grace

I just finished reading Sex God by Rob Bell. In short, its a book exploring the interplay between sex and spirituality. As humans, we long for a connection to something, someone; too often we find that in unhealthy relationships, defying the intended purpose of sexuality. I know that you should never read the end of the book first but I promise this won't ruin it for you, so here's the last paragraph that I want to share:

"I finish with this story because life is messy. Gut wrenching. Risky. Things don't always turn out well. Sometimes they don't turn out at all. Sometimes everything falls apart and we wonder if there's any point to any of it. We're tempted to shut ourselves off, fortify the walls around our hearts, and forge ahead, promising ourselves that we will never again open ourselves up like that again. But I have to believe that we can recover from anything. I have to believe that God can put anything - anyone - back together. I have to believe that the God Jesus invites us to trust is as good as he says he is. Loving. Forgiving. Merciful. Full of grace."

I've been there; we've all been there. And slowly, I'm beginning to understand that maybe there is some truth to this statement. That we must believe in grace. I've been broken lately, mostly because I've looked for my worth in places that I will never find it. That's why we must believe in grace. It has worth. As screwed up as we might be at times, the only way it will get better is if we believe that it will.

Good-bye New York City

"There is nothing permanent except change." Heraclitus

I am so awkward at saying good-byes. By now, I should be decent at it, but every time I have to say good-bye to someone for an extended period of time, first I get all panicked. Is it appropriate to hug or should I just shake their hand? Then, I get a little emotional. When will I see them next or will I ever see them again? So this makes me re-think the whole hug or shake hands ordeal. I'm sure you feel awkward after just reading this.

I've had to do this recently. By "this" I mean saying good-bye to people that mean a lot to me. People that have loved me through the thick and thin of it all. It's hard, harder than I thought. I've always been the kind of person to thrive from change. Maybe it's the adventure part of it. The thing is though, sometimes adventures turn out to be this exciting endeavor and sometimes, well sometimes it just crashes and burns.

So aside from good-byes and unknowns, the thing about change is that its constant. Things fall apart, people leave, opportunities arise, love happens. It's about changing. It's like a circle, never ending. Change is progress, which means there is always hope for something better. I love thinking that tomorrow will be better than today. Not just for me but for everyone.

So, here's to change! It's hard, but I'm hopeful.

Wake Me Up When Sept Ends

It was that cruel milestone marker that reminds us that even the strong are weak. For our grandparents generation, it was Pearl Harbor. For our parents generation, it was JFK's assassination. For my generation, it was September 11.

It was a day that brought our nation to its knees, weeping for its lost and crying in frustration, as we began to collect the pieces of three shattered buildings. The tragedy was unfathomable; in that sense it was a defining a moment for everyone. For my generation, though, it was a moment that defined the rest of our lives. The way we approach the world changed; our everyday routines, such as travel and correspondence, were made more transparent but, more importantly, our awareness of the world around us was heightened. Simultaneously in that day, we became skeptics and peacemakers.

I distinctly remember climbing on the bus that morning after an early class. Bits and pieces of conversation spurred confusion. The bus became silent as it left campus though, the radio tuned to a newstation that was just beginning to piece the puzzle together. With the rest of the country, we sat in shock in front of the television as the story unfolded in the ensuing hours. We watched the buildings crumble into piles of rubble; we cringed at the pictures of the broken bodies; we felt the grief of death; we prayed for healing; we cried for those that we didn't even know. However removed we were, we still experienced a connection. The days became weeks, the weeks turned into months, and, before we knew it, it was years later. We moved on with our lives. I graduated college and moved to New York City.

I lived in New York City for two years, most of it on Avenue C in the East Village. On my way to the F train every morning, I passed a firehouse that had a tribute painted on the outside door to the firemen of that company that served that day. It was a small memorial to something so big; but it will forever etch in my mind the example of bravery exhibited by the men and women that day. We moved on with our lives, but, in our own way, we never forget that day.

Number One

There's a civil procedure book sitting on the table beside my computer that I should be reading; instead I am setting up a blog. I mean everyone is doing it these days! In truth though, maybe everyone is doing it because there is something empowering about posting your work so that anyone has access to it. So, as many other bloggers, I'm writing this in hopes that thousands of people each morning are logging onto this site, eager to read my thoughts; even though I know that I will be lucky for even one random person to stumble upon it by accident. So, if you happen to be that random person, thanks for reading this far and please continue to frequent the site. Now onto the American civil court system.